Economic Models explained with cows
>
> SOCIALISM:
> You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
>
> COMMUNISM:
> You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
>
> FASCISM:
> You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM:
> You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM:
> You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the
> other and throws the milk away...
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,
> and the economy grows. You sell
> them and retire on income.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
> milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
> dropped dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
> an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
> clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
> once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
> lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
> and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
> bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
> storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
> employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
> reported the numbers.
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> IRAQI CORPORATION:
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have
> none. No one believes you and they bomb your ass. You still have no
> cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
>
> SURREALISM:
> Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
> harmonica lessons.
>
> HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
> You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company,
> using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,
> then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
> that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows.
> The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian
> intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the
> majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to
> the listed company and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual
> report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more.
> Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.
>
> NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
>
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
> You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and
> go down the pub to celebrate.
